From ancient Greek sculpture to Italian Renaissance painting and more, the Musee du Louvre is an art lover's paradise. With literally thousands of works of art on display, there's no way you can see everything in one day. Don't overwhelm yourself by rushing around trying to take in such a vast collection. If you take your time and stop to observe the art, I mean really contemplate it, you'll have a much richer experience. And if you listen closely, you just might hear the art speaking to you...
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| Welcome to the Louvre! I hope you like stairs. And lines. |
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| Not bad for Paris in December. |
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"Ow my back!" "Is it your back?" "Yes it's my damn back!" |
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| "Kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it, you filthy winged bitch!" |
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| "Will you play with me? I promise not to tear you to shreds if you score on me. Really I promise." |
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| "Check out my pecs. Hey have you seen my beach ball? Sigh, never mind..." |
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| "We're gonna need a bigger boat!" |
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| "Who needs arms and face when you can fly?" |
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| "Hey you there! Yes you, with the camera. Do you think you could scratch my nose real quick? Please, just a quick scratch? Come on I know you can hear me. Come on, just... dammit come on!" |
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| "Yeah and then Paula was all like - oh hang on a second, I got a pebble in my sandal. Just gotta unlace real quick and then we'll be back on our way. Anyway where was I? Oh that's right. Paula was all like- what's that? Come on, Stanley, you know I always like to go walking with as little on as possible. Since when did you get weird when a guy aired it out a little bit? Hmm? Why yes these are new sandals! Thank you for noticing! Ok so anyway, Paula was all like..." |
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| "Ok nobody smile. Did anyone smile? Ok, good." |
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| "So I told Becky, 'Becky,' I says, 'I'll go to the Louvre with you but I will not look at that silly painting. I'll stand there with my Louis Vuitton clutch and I'll look at anything and everything but that silly Mona Lisa. You just watch me.' What's that? Well yes I said it right to her face and now here we are. That's the God's honest truth, Gary." |
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| "Phillip, do you think I'm pretty? Please tell me you think I'm pretty, Phillip." |
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| "Dammit, Eric, I said not in front of the kids! I don't care if you are going off to war!" "Oh yeah, that feels good, you like that..." "Oh God I wish a man would touch me like that!" |
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| "Oh you think you've got problems? Well I can't get off unless a snake bites me in the tit. So pardon me if I don't really feel bad for all the foot fetishists out there. This snake thing is painful, and creepy, and weird, and... and... oh God I needed that. |
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| "Yeah I invented going goth as a teenager. You can call me Nightblood." |
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| "What? Lots of guys have one of these." |
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| "Thank you! You know, it does look good at this length, doesn't it?" |
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| "You are what you eat! Hehe puns!" |
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| "Oh no you didn't, girl! I know you know better than to talk to me when I'm digging with my shovel!" "Jazz hands!" |
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| "TGIF, mother fffff- oh god what the hell is happening this weekend?!" |
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| "Dude, what the F is going on over there? Is that a-" "Shhh, just go with it..." |
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| "Look I know Francine is an emotional girl, but does she really have to get her boobs out every time someone dies? I mean really, Francine, it's getting a little old already. We get it." |
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| "Where do you think Paris Hilton got the idea?" |
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| "Soooo... where are we gonna hang all this stuff?" |
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| "Well how about if we hang that one over- no, already full." |
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| "I banged her. What?" |
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| "I banged her, too." |
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| "Over there is where Jeffrey and I first met. See that statue over there? It was right there, four weeks ago today." "Oh Gregory stop it, you'll make me blush!" |
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| "I banged her twice, once with her sister." |
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| "Oh you are all so obsessed with ze Mona Lisa! But does your Mona Lisa have hot girl-pinching-ze-nipple-of-anozzer-girl action? Mais non! Which painting should you be crowding around to look at?" |
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| "You didn't know I have a place right down the street from here? Oh yeah, it's got a great view! You should, you should come check it out sometime. Yeah, just you know any time you'd be welcome. You could come now if you want. Yeah, no that's cool, whenever." "Whatchoo talkin' bout, Willis?" |
